I have a...

mommy confession to make. But first I want to let all of you out there with children age 9-18....SuperCamp is the camp to go to if you are looking for a WORTHY camp for your child. I wouldn't be facilitating camp if I didn't think it simply ROCKED!! But anyway, check it out on my links. Okay SuperCamp plug aside, let me just tell you that I have not been posting b/c I have been studying, preparing, and learning my curriculum for my re-entry into the SuperCamp world. It is has been grueling but it is falling into place now and the gi-normous cloud is lifting from in front of my eyes in terms of the flow of camp, where I fit into that flow, and my pieces that I get to present/facilitate. The point (yes I had a point) to all of this mumbo jumbo and back to my my mommy confession is this: I have become an "un-fun" mother. There I said it. I realized it today and had my ephiphany in the kiddie pool. Well after the kiddie pool incident I should say.

You see it all goes back to my nanny-ing days for the "T" family back in my college days. I nannied three boys who were ages 5, 7, and 9 that first summer back in 2000. We went everywhere!!! and I drove them!!! My favorite spot (of course) was the pool. We went to the pool almost daily and I can remember actually pitying the other little kids that had mommies who just sat by the side of the pool and read their magazines and love novels while their kids entertained themselves in the cool and most refreshing blue water. I was the one making all the annoying noise actually playing and engaging with the boys (did I mention I LOVE the pool!! and to swim and dive etc!!!)....(forget that I was being paid...I really did LOVE to be at the pool with the boys.) We swam and chased eachother around the whole pool (loudly I might add b/c it was so much FUN!!) , playing Marco Polo and diving off of the diving boards etc. I think that was the year little Christopher officially learned to jump off the diving boards and swim to the side all by himself. (Yay :) Anyways....I felt so badly for those other kids and after seeing Beth (the boys' mom) totally get in the water and PLAY with them one time....and I mean PLAY...not just splash around play - I mean get your HAIR wet and wear goggles PLAY...I vowed to myself that I would always be a mommy that PLAYED and had FUN.

Well fast foward 7 years. (Has it been SEVEN already????) I have two little ones. I am 20 lbs. overweight. (Not according to MY scale but to the doctor's. I was doing GREAT until I went and got weighed there!) I am tired. I am achy. I am busy. My house is messy. I have to study. I have this to do and that to do. I am cranky. I am.....NOT FUN. When did this happen? When exactly did I prefer to just sit out on the side of the pool and watch while my kids (whom I have been waiting my whole life to have so I could teach, mentor, and have FUN with them) played lonesomely in the ever so invitingly fun water??? Hmm?? When did this happen? And how could I let it??

Well today after our trip to the "sand park" where we dug, scraped, pushed, pulled, scooped, and poured sand we did all the normal morning things. (I guess the epiphany started this morning when I decided to go to the sand park instead of our usual walk and then the "swing" park. Then we had lunch and it was so hot I decided we needed to go and swim in our little green Walmart pool in the backyard. Benjamin just swam naked and Caleb swam in his undies. (Is that wrong?) The swimmie diapers are in the plastic bin underneath like 5 other plastic bins in the basement so the boys went O- Natur-AL :)....okay so Benjamin gets tired and wants to be held (after being incesantly splashed and rocked by Caleb's out of control waves) so I pick him up and hold him on my lap....in the plastic white chair I was sitting at....by the side of the pool....on an incline.... you get the picture. Anyway...I was totally not mad when I got splashed and stuff and was rather enjoying it b/c I was wearing workout clothes anyway (having gone to the park in 85 degree weather etc.).....then I had these thoughts , "Gee I think I am falling?"...."Am I slanting??" "WHAT is going ON??? and then I found myself (with Benjamin on my lap) sitting in the water (don't worry it was like warm bath water) inside the little green WalMart pool with Caleb.

Can I just tell you I have never seen Caleb's face turn that deep of a shade of red just from LAUGHING??? It WAS soooo funny...so we all laughed and laughed. And you know what? It felt SO good. :) I can't remember when we've had fun like that. Me sitting in the baby pool soaking wet in my clothes and playing and splashing for about a half -hour afterwards. There was a distinct moment right after I fell in that my brain thought...uh oh...mad or funny. I am so glad I chose to laugh and have fun in the moment. I would have never thought I would have forgotten how to have fun. I tell you now...it does happen. It happened to me. Make sure you gaurd against it happening to you. Now if I can just remember my vow I think I'll enjoy life a lot more with my precious little gifts that we call "our boys" (and maybe lose this 20 or so lbs. doing it :)

Have a good one! :) Here are some recent photos.

Turning three at Grandm and Grandpa's house. (A new tractor with birthday $ :) Cake by Grandma and Mommy. (Hmm...$5 cake vs. MUCH more expensive special ordered one for 1st birthday. He LOVED this cake... even begging to bring the rest home and still asking about it today - almost a week later! I think I'll stick to making them! :0)

Benjamin walking non-chalantly in the living room WHILE drinking out of his sippie cup. Can you say TALENTED?? (Just kidding he's not nearly as smooth as he looks in this picture but he's getting there...taking 8-10 steps now ;)

Caleb at his FIRST dentist appt. just two days after turning the big 3. Notice how he is CLUTCHING that tractor in his little hand. He was pretty serious in the beginning of the cleaning. He warmed up to Ms. Reeva after she tickeled his teeth witht he electric brush. :)

Caleb and A. LuAnn in the combine simulator at the Children's Museam. He was hooked!

Ryan and I having some fun (yes, I knew how to have a little...I am now commited to much more "daily" fun tho ;)

Benjamin playing Japanese warrior. (or something.)

Dr. Benjamin (has a nice ring to it doesn't it??) working on Daddy's teeth. "Don't worry Daddy, this won't hurt a bit." (By the way, he's in his diaper under the lab coat here b/c he SOAKED himself at the water exhibit. Now THAT is one little boy that knows how to have fun! ;)

B finding out that these little stairs are actually for climbing!! Yippee!! Okay everyone, I must go to bed now. Enjoy this one, it'll be another while! :)